.but where's the monkey?.

another day of pimple-squishing
then my phone went 'NYAHAHAHA ka-phut' on me

and then we went to the museum of technology
and i just about died.
so much vintage steampunky goodness, i just about gasm'd.
especially at the 1800's organ grinder.
so tempting to crank the handle.

went home, did nothing.
go figure again.

.like, totally.

just evening things out for july, haha
so it's 29 posts on the 29th
heh

hetalia!poland is my new love
like, totally awesome, yeah.
he talks like that and goes on about ponies and is just such a pot of gay stew

also,
lietpol is now my otp

i think
either way,
it's historically canon <3

also
my dad snores like a tractor
wakes me up

PASTAAAAA

.gather round, gather round!.

Gather round, gather round!
Come one, come all, form a proper queue, that's right!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Circus!


Tonight we shall be showing
The sad fate that the world carries


Don't be fooled, ladies and gentlemen!
Master James and Miss Lydia are so tall and great, but they are gentle giants indeed!
Go on, why don't you say hello?
They do love your company, really they do!


Children that even God has abandoned
Left to fend for themselves in twisting city gutters


Our own prima donna, Lady Alice, right here, ladies and gentlemen!
Isn't she gorgeous! Isn't she wonderful!
Surely there can be no voice more beautiful, more angelic, wouldn't you say?
Such a shame that someone would want to let such a treasure rot in a gutter!


They cannot stand the distorted limbs they were created with
And they smile as they dream of a mother's love they never had


And such an oddity here, ladies and gentlemen!
A brother and a sister - but it is one body!
But then, they do say two heads are better than one, don't they?
Kee and Eel, their names are, and a bigger mystery can't be found!


Those who speak out are taken
And the child has to cower alone once more


A beast that eats things cold, yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen!
He has no voice, no eyes, all he can do is devour, and it doesn't matter what it is!
I don't suppose you'd toss him a mint or so, would you?
It'll make him happy, really it will!


What a show! What a show!

.nameday!.

it's my nameday
or saint's day
or whatever

we went to a concert at the saint anne church where my aunt was playing chopin.
god, i hate churches.
we had to stand through the end of a sermon
the priest or whatever thought he could sing.
show-off.
ahem.
we got to meet the singers, too.
apparently, they're my mum's friends. all of them.
gah.

rest of the day i pigged out on chocolate

AND I HAS A FLAT CAT YEY

.V.

V

Randy Moon was woken by screaming.
Understandably, she was quite startled at first, being only half-conscious and all.
But after a few seconds of What On Earth Is Going On, she quickly realized it was only Christopher.
Also known as the fossa - Cryptoprocta ferox - who was afraid of everything.
Literally.
She instantly considered not bothering even getting up and was even going back to sleep, but the second Chris burst into her room with the most pathetic expression on his face she felt a little rotten.
"What is it now?" she asked, doing her best to sound annoyed.
"W-well..." Chris tried to reply, looking like a total idiot.
"Theressilverfishinthelooandihatesilverfishcanyougetthemformeplease?"
Randy blinked.
"Speak up, would you? I'm a bit deaf in my right eye!" she exclaimed, ears twitching.
Chris sighed as if he were being forced to admit his biggest secret and repeated,
"There's silverfish in the loo, and I hate silverfish."
Silverfish are little bugs that live in the bathroom and have parties at night and scuttle across the floor in the morning.
"...could you get them for me? Please? Pretty please?"
Randy rolled her eyes, smiling.
"You're hopeless, you know that?" she said, dragging herself out of bed and grabbing the FishmothBuster 2345, a.k.a a dustpan and brush.
Chris only looked embarrassed and shuffled his feet.

"Shoo, you little scabs! Shoo off to the ceviche from whence you came!"
To be honest, Randy wasn't too concerned with silverfish and just brushed them into the corners.
Which was probably why history always did that annoying broken record thing and repeated itself.
But today, Randy actually gave the matter some thought and decided that This Would Not Do and Something Must Be Done And Fast.
So she dropped the FishmothBuster 2345 and began to mess with bits of string instead.

Around ten minutes later, she was in the kitchen eating a waffle banana sandwich.
Randy had a bit of a thing for waffle banana sandwiches.
It was around here that Randy's father - his name was Zachary Moon for those curious - came in, still half asleep.
"What, no sorbet?" he asked, and quite rightly because there was homemade raspberry sorbet in the freezer and raspberry sorbet is very yummy, but you have to say it 'sor-bay' or else it doesn't make sense since if you don't it sounds like 'sore bit' and sore bits don't have flavours, raspberry or otherwise.
"No, my ankle's just fine now," replied Randy - and they both fell about laughing.
"Oh, and by the way," Randy's dad suddenly said, stopping mid-laugh, "Why is there toothpaste in the pink bathroom?"
"Blue." Randy corrected. "We haven't used the pink one for a year."
"Oh."
"It's a trap." she began to explain as well as any Nobel scientist. "Silverfish eat toothpaste, right?"
"Right."
"So you put a blob of toothpaste in the middle of the floor."
"Right."
"And the silverfish come and eat it."
"Right."
"But the toothpaste..."
"What about the toothpaste?"
Randy lowered her voice as if it were a terrible secret, and whispered quietly,
"...the toothpaste is on flypaper."
And they both fell about laughing for the second time today.

.don't shoot me, i'm just the piano player.

great.
we had to go over to my uncle's again
and there's nothing to do.

so we just watched youtube clips, ate pizza and i kinda plink-plonk-planked the piano and his in the closet.

and i'm running out of commentary.

.i hate trains.

i am so tired.
i have just sat six hours on a train.

agony.

although family did come over before we went.
great-uncles and great-aunts.
and one of them said he'll buy the first proper painting i do.
i don't know if he was joking or not,
but it made me happy.

too tired to write anymore.

.GUESS WHAT.

CHICKEN BUTT

i stole a menu today.


what can i say, it was gahdayumn funny.
it's from that restaurant i told you about.
reading a menu should not be that fun.
ever.

newsflash to all the conny-sewers, gastronomers, restaurant owners and posh fops out there...
humour is good for the soul.

i'm going back to warsaw tomorrow.
speaking of which,
did you know that pretty much the whole city was completely rebuilt after wwii?
facts.

.i hate architects.

they are so boring.

we visited two really old houses today.
they were great.
but they would have been, like, even better
if mum didn't bore me to death with details.

that's me.
i hate details.

oh, and...

my trackpad clicker thing is making really annoying noises when i click it.

.fate, again.

we were supposed to go to a museum
but it was closed.
go fucking figure.

i swear, fate hates my guts.
hey, fate, shut up and eat already or they'll go cold.
HA!

did nothing today.
i love doing nothing.
it is what i do best.

tezca says hi, and says you are jealous of her awesome hat.

:::edit:::

THIS.

.sketchdump v. 2.0.

these are for my friend holly.

brainless blogger

fwink the fabulous

deet

all the characters belong to her apart from deet, who is my fan character.
these are hardly accurate representations, it's just how i see them.
as aliens with funny clothes.
yes, we are lame together.

asides from that, we walked up this mountain called nosal today, and climbed down again.
here's the funny bit...
'nosal' in polish is a nickname for a person with a big nose.
i LOL'd.
and then we had half a giant pizza
and saved the rest.
ah, and by the way,
did you know that here you don't even need lights?
you just cross the road and everyone has to stop the second your foot's on the road.
and we saw the funniest menu ever.
it said stuff like, 'we take no responsibility for any kilograms gained' and 'we DON'T sell hamburgers' and 'roasted steak of cow ass' and other stuff.
i took a picture, i'll show you when i find the cable.

i love myself.

.rain.

nothing happened today because it was raining.
now, i like rain
but when it's raining in the mountains
going anywhere outside a simple forest road is suicide.

and sometimes even when it's not raining.
i've seen a topr rescue chopper three times in a week.

fail.

also, i'm drawing my friend's characters.
check out her blog
it's awesome.

.fate sucks.

so,
we took a walk down this forest path, easy-easy
and we had ice cream on the way.
first time, didn't have the apple ones,
so i picked cream with strawberry sorbet in the middle.
five minutes later,
i go to throw the wrapper away
AND THEY'RE PUTTING THE APPLE ONES I WANTED INTO THE COOLER.

i hate fate.

but.
we walked a bit more, then came back.
and i had the apple ice cream.
>:3

also,
this.

.there's laziness....

...and then there's laziness.

we went to the hole today.
seriously, that's what it's called.
dziura.
that means hole.
it's very deep.
and very very black.

and if you make a joke about supermassive black holes, don't worry, i won't think you're lame and/or a tasteless emo.
i'll just give you a patented sardonic look.
like this.
[sardonic look]
see?

after that, we did nothing.

ah well.

.I-IV.

I

"Wake up, Violet!"

II

"Violet? Sweetheart?"

III

"Violet!"

IV

"...huh...?"
"We're almost there, pumpkin!"
Violet groggily opened one eye.
It certainly didn't seem like they had gotten any where from where they were five minutes ago.
But then again, when you're lying down in your brother's car, you can only see the sky, and all the bits of sky look the same...
"Are you drifting off again, Violet?"
That was Lee.
She was Violet's brother's girlfriend, and she called everyone 'sweetheart' or 'pumpkin' or 'dearie' or something else and always wore beads and string in her hair.
"No...I'm just...waking up..." Violet did her best to stretch. "How long's it been?"
"Four hours, I think. And you slept the whole way through..." Lee said, before stopping and grinning a very broad and slightly sheepish grin.
Violet raised an eyebrow.
"What?" she asked, puzzled.
Lee, obviously struggling to contain it in the first place, burst out in a fit of giggles.
Now Violet was not only puzzled, she was getting slightly annoyed as well.
"What's so..."
She stopped.
She felt her forehead.
"...funny..."
And she pulled off a pink 'Do Not Disturb' sticker.
There was silence.
"...you weren't joking..."
Everyone exploded in peals of raucous laughter there and then.
"If you need anything, just yell, okay?" called out Kail - Violet's brother - from the driver's seat.
"Okay."
"Brill. I'll turn the radio on, shall I?"

After that, nobody really spoke, asides from Lee commenting, "This really is in the middle of nowhere..."
And, to be quite frank, it was.
All Violet could see was field, field, field, more field and a bit of forest over there.
It was very boring.
"Lee?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not too long, is it? Till we're there, I mean?"
"Only an hour or so, love."
Violet groaned loudly and sunk even deeper into her seat with a loud harumph'.
Lee chuckled.
"Aw, chickie!" she exclaimed, laughing. "And I thought Kail was the groucho!"
"Lee...." Kail hissed, sounding stern but breaking into a smile.
And they both burst out laughing again.
Good for them, Violet thought. She stuck her tongue out at no-one in particular and flopped back down into her temporary pillow.
It was quite fun, staring at the sky.
The sun was setting. They wouldn't be there till after dark, it was clear.
Funny, Violet said to herself, when the sun is setting, it looks like it's rising at the same time...
She could feel her eyes closing again.
I wonder if there'll be stars...

.recovery pizza.

my calves are so fucking sore.

we, like, did nothing today
we were still recovering a bit.

we went to the house of wladyslaw hasior today.
he was a really famous polish contemporary sculptor of creepy things.
look him up.
i, for one, am a fan.

speaking of art, we were at an exhibition a week ago, i forgot to say.
there was a movie by katarzyna kozyra in it called summer tale.
it's...scary.

and i ate a really good pizza today.

so there.

.oh.my.god.

i had no idea taking your shoes off could be so fantasmic.

i have just ridden a cable car up to kasprowy wierch after waiting around two hours for tickets.
it's around two thousand metres above sea level.
and we walked down.
i don't know how many kilometres. i bet, like, twenty-five.

i am seriously sore.

we are DEFINITELY not doing anything tomorrow.

.sketchdump.

all these pictures are backwards.

damn you, photo booth.

randy and violet, running along.
or something.

randy...as a human. ha!

random 1920's girl who makes me think of ladybugs.

a craptastic attempt at drawing the villa where i'm staying.


nathaniel looking mighty puzzled.

a short comic planout thing, inspired by my getting soaked.
if you tell me this never happened to you,
i will laugh.

anne in icu or something.

randy's dad, zachary marjoram.
he's the kind of guy who dodges a banana peel and faceplants into a manhole.
a.k.a a total doof.

randy's mum, arabella marjoram.
she's tiny, but she's FIERCE.
and an ace baker.
her apron says 'kiss the cook', btw.

that's it for now, folks.

.spazzmuch.

sorry i died, but so did my battery and we needed a router.

anyway.
we walked up the forest yesterday and i got my feet raeped by a cat.
we wanted to go up kasprowy on the cable car thing, but the queue was like a mile long.

we were meant to go today, but we couldn't be arsed to get up early.
we are so awesome.
so we just wandered around
and i had the thickest chocolate milkshake ever.
srs, i was drinking syrup.

anyway.
i drew a retro 1920s lady and randy as a human toony girl.
i might post them later.

so long.

.wut da fook.

you know what i said about not having internet?

well, guess what.
oh my god, win.

hahaha.

not much happened today.
mostly driving through nothing and krakow.

yeah.

.and then...nothing happened.

literally.

i did absolutely nothing today.

just sat around and watched an old polish history show from the 70's.
didn't even bother to change.
although i did make plans for more pullip customization.

hey, everyone needs a lazy day, right?

also, i'm going to zakopane in the mountains for two weeks tomorrow, so there won't be any updates until i come back.

cheerio!

.coffee.

frozen chocolate is so good.
especially with mint sauce.

met with the other family today.
god i missed them.

but as usual, i got tired and bored.
man, i've been sleeping better here than i have for the past year.
howzat?

also, walking.
because the metro will never get old, and i've nearly learned the stops off my heart.

lolwat.

.messed up logic.

so.

it was nine in the evening
and the sun still wasn't down.

ha.
HA.

we went to this little blob of land that belongs to my uncle's girlfriend.
like a summer stay shouse or something.
i was lying half-dead on the swingy sofa, eating cheese pasketti and drinking blue powerade.
i missed blue powerade.

also,
apparently i'm a parasite on my internet.
as in,
I SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
that's just awesome.

.dermatowhatsits.

i had to go to a professional pimple-squisher today.
at least she's nice.
but she put some pink gunk on my face that turned into RUBBER when it dried...
and you have to peel it off...

lolz were had.

then i went to the park by myself for a little.
but when i walked home, guess what, it rained
and i had no umbrella.
i got soaked
and am spending the rest of the day in my pjs.
god, i love my hideous luck.

also, not only did i just scarf down 4 little delicjes
they're little caked with jelly discs on them and covered in chocolate
DELICIOUS
but i also found my hoshigakure headband that went AWOL for two years.
turns out i left it here
hahaha.

i fail.

.lolnetgear.

hahaha.

i'm in poland now.
after a really long flight.
and four flippin' hours in frankfurt.
and another hour.

our house is one big room, a kitchen and a loo.
and there's a park just down the road.
and people take buses, the metro or the tram.
and they have little cards.
or they walk.

CIVILIZATION!
i missed you!

i'm eating cheese plaits
OH SO GOOD.

lolbai.

.glomp attack!.

a little drawing, and I made it good because this will be the last art post from me in, ah, 2 MONTHS.
i'm going on holiday.

SSSQUEEEEEEEESHHHH!

randy - madagascan fruitbat - and violet - ringtailed lemur - attacking their unwilling sidekick christopher the fossa.
despite his predator status, chris has a really weak stomach, likes the buddhist thing of not harming any other living creature and IS A TOTAL PANSY.
making him both a total failure and the perfect person to glomp when you feel the fancy.
plus, he's cute.

so, goodbye
and
I HAVE RED STREAKS IN MY HAIR 8D

.shoes.

i can't find my shoe gloop.

i need my shoe gloop.

i need it to clean my shoes.

this is very dumb.

:::edit:::

actually, scratch that, found it.

.happy birthday.

happy birthday
we said
make your wish
we said

let's paint them red
he said
make it good 'n messy
she said
i'll get the video
i said

don't forget to smile.

what a show
we said
slice them good
we said

the last one squealed
she said
what a pretty red
i said
it looks best on you
he said

don't forget to smile.

.first post evar.

welcome, ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, adolescents of all ages, to my personal little corner of existence.

be prepared for a lot of drivel and other tommyrot that is utterly ludicrous.